Not to be confused with Oxford Dictionary/ Thesaurus.
This Glossary will be very important (I will try learn to link it to future posts). This will save me having to explain every-time over and over about a certain person, event or thing each time. Look at it as in the same way you tell yours kids ‘lets have a take-away treat’ rather than we getting a take out because I’d rather spend my time watching shit T.V. than stand in the kitchen sweating over another fucking meal.
This will be updated as I go along or when have time.
Baby-Group: Disguised as ‘important social skills for newborn/toddler ’ It’s actually a dummy run for the years you will have to face of parent playground shit know as school runs. Also great to check out what your future child minder is really like.
Crying It Out: Self Soothe also has other pretentious names that I fail to remember, it’s where it’s acceptable to leave your very young tiny baby to cry and cry until eventually baby has exhausted itself. As babies have to learn that mummy or daddy need their time and baby can not demand all their love and affection. Eventually baby will learn that crying gets them nothing and the prolonged crying eventually becomes less and less. If you have ever wondered, why friends DON’T confide in you when depressed or sad this is probably why.
Julie : Hanger on, has no real input if any all, doesn’t even belong in the misfit category, the only reason why don’t question if Julie is real is because she always seems to appear breathing heavy behind you. Have you ever suddenly woken in the middle of the night and almost peed yourself before realising the person standing there just watching – looking at you with blank expression with no sound or movement like some sort of possessed alien is in fact just your creepy child?…….. well that is what Julie is like.
Martha : Martha has been on the PTA for like forever, you will never ever replace Martha, please submit your professional wholesome credentials of all family members (must be full family set) to be considered for a place in her circle. Martha does like to be entertained and certain clubs are run where you to can learn the dance moves of sheep.
RTB : Resting Bitch Face A heredity gene passed down through generations although can affect any deranged parent. It’s a facial expression that appears to show anger, rage, utter disgust and warning not to approach all rolled into one. Not all have the accompanying frown. Oh fear not people it actually the face of someone who zoned out on lack of sleep or drifted into their own world of thought like wondering why the fuck they been feeding a wild mouse & million of babies and not the bastard hamster that they thought they had caught escaping from cage
I have many more to come I.e : Wendy/Wended, Skylark, NCT, Vodka, Jam-Maker, pyramid bot and a few sites which worth a visit and which ones not to.
N.B. I have no time for spelling and grammar police, its a blog not the telegraph and FFS don’t ever fucking HUN me.